Monday, June 26, 2006
posted by Amie Lee at 1:57 pm

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The past 2 weeks have been extremely hectic for me. I mean this in respect to my work load – my boss had been loading me with tons and tons of work. This must be because peak season is approaching soon and there are many things to be completed. Hence I had not had much time as I would like to compose entries anymore.

Two weekends ago, I went up to Genting with Ivan. It was actually his birthday hence I decided to give him a treat, after all the stressful events he had been through for the past few weeks - yes, I know I am sweet. We went up on Friday morning and came back down Sunday afternoon (by coach).

To be very honest, sometimes I very much prefer to visit places such as Genting or Penang compared to Hong Kong or Bangkok. The difference between them (if you haven’t already identified) are local and overseas destinations.

Reason being, I am really stressed whenever I go overseas. There is this imperceptible pressure for me to cover all the interesting places within a certain time frame. I am always in a hurry no matter where I go or what I do, and I never have the time to pause and enjoy the air (whether or not the air is worth enjoying).

I eat in a hurry, I make decisions in a hurry, I walk everywhere in a hurry. Basically, everything that I do would be accomplished in a hurried manner. The only thing I do not accomplish in a hurry is taking photographs.

When I am on a vacation somewhere in Malaysia, I move like a snail and I get to enjoy every moment of my vacation. If I did not feel like walking, I could stop halfway (whatever it is I am doing or wherever it is I am heading) to take a couple of breaths and then resume whenever I felt like it.

Now that kind of lifestyle is very much more like one a vacation, isn’t it? Rather than scurrying around every second of the day and choking food down (thus allowing my already overworked digestive system to deal with it)...

I wonder if it only happens to me or everyone else too?
 
Monday, June 12, 2006
posted by Amie Lee at 11:05 am

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The definition of “Significant Other” in this entry: Wife / Fiancée / Girlfriend

I do not understand why some men (you know who you are) kick up a fuss about having to settle mortgage instalments and paying household bills, necessities, et cetera, for their household without contributions from their significant other. I am so up to here because I just had an unproductive argument with a certain species that is known to originate from Mars (I shall refer to him as Jerry for confidentiality purposes).

Jerry rang me up and told me he had an argument with his significant other about their pre-wedding arrangements. Apparently, he had refused to take his savings out to pay for their new house and bear the household expenses all on his own.

No matter how hard I tried to put some sense into that obstinate brain of his, he still refused to budge and continued taking his stand (the stand that I will take, hold, grab, kick, punch, thump, burn and bury 60 foot under). I cannot understand why he expects his significant other to do such a thing and even held an argument with her because of that. 90% of the men (I shall refer to them as “the fine men”) that I have met in all of my life stated that it is a man’s responsibility to bear any form of financial burden, and that it is deemed value added if his significant other offers to share the burden.

The fine men added that they do not have any expectations whatsoever for their significant other to fork out a single cent for anything. This includes the dates they go on, and they even paid for their significant other’s shopping expenses (on an average of one out of three times). I know of some that even put money into their significant others' pockets so they could eat better things for lunch or dinner. If this is so, what more (when they decide to get married) their new home and household expenses?

These fine men have the perception that their significant other’s earnings are for keeps or to be spent on her personal expenditures. His money, however, is for them (things that involve them both), him (when he wants to buy things for personal usage) and her (when he pays for her expenses). I even know of this one man that pays for his significant other’s – namely, his girlfriend, car instalments from the down payment right up till the final instalment. For all of your information, he was not born with a silver spoon in the mouth. He is an average guy earning an average income. How he can afford to do that for his girlfriend?

I suppose his love and trust in her overcomes the love he has for himself, hence he would stinge when it comes to himself and spend it on her. I presume the fine men would all have this mindset, therefore they can afford to expend on their significant other (unless he was born with a silver spoon in the mouth or he earns aplenty). This gives me a thought: I would prefer to find an average man so I can truly see how much he loves me and how much I really mean to him.

Being a decent lady, however, she will insist on contributing her share for chunkier expenses. Normally, I let the man pay for everything in the initial stage – this includes the initial dating stages and even after he officially becomes my boyfriend. I do that not because I am materialistic, I just want to make sure he is a true gentlemen (call it a test if you must) and that he is willing to spend on me without making a fuss.

When things have become more stable as we start to get closer (which would probably take about 6 months or more), I would offer to spend him every now and then, and buy him mountains of gifts in return for all that he has paid on my behalf – especially the shopping! As for mortgage and household expenses, I believe I will contribute an amount that will help ease his burden to any extent that I can afford.

Men like Jerry, or the not so fine men, are probably afraid of losing out or giving too much to their significant other. This is in view of their fear that things will not work out or they probably do not think their significant other is worthy enough of what they have earned with their blood and sweat. A man who truly loves and trusts his girl will never have thoughts of those sorts. They understand perfectly well that if they want a lady to treat them well, with the proper love and respect, they have to take the first step to establish that kingdom of heaven.

I believe that ladies will need that kind of commitment and sacrifice from a man before she can lay her cards on the table. As ladies are almost always on the losing end, security (it is up to the man’s ability and responsibility to ensure his significant other feels secured about him and their relationship) is highly important. It is then, and only then, will the lady return her gratitude. Also note: The greater the sacrifice of the man, the greater the reward (affection, love, et cetera) he will receive from his significant other.

Buzz off you chauvinistic pig of a Jerry!!!
 
Thursday, June 01, 2006
posted by Amie Lee at 11:01 am

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This is probably one of the most talked about topic among my girlfriends (and probably other girls too) ever since we knew the meaning of marriage. The basic understanding of it, that is. I will not dwell into the complications and predicaments of marriage in this entry. Hopefully, this is one of the rare entries that I do not say anything bad about men (fat hopes though). We shall see how it goes…

We (my girlfriends and I) used to talk about our fantasies and dreams of our wedding day when we were younger. When we were twelve, we talked about how handsome the groom will be and how beautiful our wedding reception venue is to be decorated. When we were sixteen, we talked about how in love we are with the groom (and vice versa, of course) and where our wedding reception is to be held. Our conversations in this topic remained similar until we hit twenty two.

Then, we looked at life from a more realistic angle. We talked about the kind of a person the groom is; whether he is nice, kind, caring, polite, sweet, loving and all that basic necessities. Also, not forgetting how wealthy he is, whether he can afford the wedding we have always dreamt about, a home for us and providing for the family. Together with all that, we added those on to how tall he is, how soft his hair is, how smooth his face is, how sharp his nose is, how sexy his lips are, how alluring his eyes are… You get the drift. We are just being realistic, you see.

Most of us had given up searching for Mr Perfect – if we haven’t already found him (we believe that the men from Mars have overthrown the men from Earth). Hence we have accepted the fact that we will remain spinsters for the rest of our sad, sorry and miserable lives. We will all jointly buy a home, renovate it, furnish it, live in it, grow old and die in that same home together – not simultaneously though. Our fate will only be otherwise IF and ONLY IF we find a Mr Perfect.

And well, besides all that, we do hope for something that all men do. A sexy, stimulating and solid structure. After all, we will be bonking the same man for the rest of our lives. Right? Or not? We talked about how brawny his hands are, how curvy his abs is, how broad his shoulders are, how sexy his ass is, how muscular his legs are and (forgive me if you find this offensive, guys) how “thought-provoking” his dingy is – both length and width, to be precise.

Anyhow, I do not wish to hold a Christian or traditional Chinese wedding. Maybe because I am public shy… A dinner with relatives and friends present are acceptable to my standards though – it can be held anywhere, I do not have a specific preference. Besides, wherever it is to be held, I can put on one of those nice fluffy, frilly gowns. I have nothing to lose. For now though, I cannot imagine myself being a bride.

Writing this entry has made me realise that I do not have a picture of my “ideal wedding” in my mind currently. I used to when I was younger, but no longer. What is more important to me now is marrying someone whom I love and whom I think I can live with for the rest of my life (and vice versa). Maybe it is true after all that dreams die off eventually and reality takes place.